Cowboys should read tall, cute, nice, honest, boys!
While I do have a love affair with fashion and cupcakes I occasionally need to rant.
Today is one of those days. So now, time for a rant! I am pretty sure all the "cowboys" are gone. It used to be "all the good ones are taken" now I think it's "all the good ones are gay". I suppose it's a sign of the times! Woe is me! At this point I think I shall just be single forever because I'm tired of nonsense. So very tired! What was it Charlotte Said "I've been dating for 15 years, I'M EXHAUSTED!" Well not quite 15 years but I am exhausted! After many years, lets just say 9-10, although one could argue 20 of my 25 years of life, I have pinpointed what I believe to be my main issues.
1. I am attracted to losers and/or assholes. A problem that has plagued women since the dawning of time! Well, maybe not that far back but as far back as I can recall. Why ladies?! Why do we do this to ourselves?! I don't know what it is but its like all the assholes of the world are some extra special cupcake that I must have! This cupcake also happens to have a tracking device and they always seem to find me. I think the main problem is bad boys, assholes, and losers 99.7% of the time are hot. I tried to train myself that hot is not always best but you know what, SCREW THAT, because 75% of uglies are ASSHOLES and/or losers too! It's a double edged sword I tell ya. Thus, I'm still single.
2. I LOVE gay boys. No I don't mean "oh they're so fun I love hanging out with them!" I mean 8 times out of 10 if I end up thinking a boy is attractive he is gay! WTF?!?! I don't have any opinions on why this could be but it's very detrimental to a single girl's dating life to be constantly attracted to homosexual men! Thus, I'm still single.
3. Men seem to be SHRINKING!!! Now someone please tell me I am not the only one who has noticed this? Perhaps it is just a TX thing but I'm thinking it may be a worldwide epidemic! You see, the problem is this, the MEN OF THE LAND ARE SHRINKING and the women are getting taller (at least the stilettos are)! How am I, as a woman of 5 feet 7.5 inches tall, to find a man when they're all around 5'7?! That means if I put on my killer 5 inch heels I will tower over them like a giant. Sorry but none of my goals in life have ever been to be a giant. EVER . When did it become so hard to find a nice sexy 6 foot 5 inch guy? OK, I know that's a bit much but finding a dude over 6 ft is kind of like striking gold, actually more like striking oil! (Hey I'm from TX don't judge me and my analogies!) Is it too much to ask that I find a nice, TALL, honest, good looking man, who adores me and showers me with love? Ok, well I guess maybe but still Tall and honest are deal-breakers! Thus, I'm still single!!!!
4. I'm what you might call...a Bitch?! :) Bitch should read, sassy and puts up with no bullshit. I'm sorry but if you're over the age of 8 I will not tolerate any nonsense from you. So I find it very hard to deal with most men *cough cough* boys because that's all they are, nonsense! I'm telling you if it's not one thing it's another. They lie, they're broke, they cheat, they're broke, they're boring, they're short, they're mean, they smell, they're sluts, they have the herp etc... I'm not saying girls don't have the same issues but here's the fundamental difference in our dating lives. Boys won't put up with nonsense either; while a large and very disappointing majority of girls will. Why would a boy stick around with a girl who calls him on his shit when he can go find a bunch of other HOS that will let him act a fool and probably fund his antics too. It's so sad and SO very annoying. So let us all say it together now...Thus, I'm still single!!!!!!!
So I guess I'm fated to stay this way until I find a nice, tall, honest, caring sweet guy. See ->
Ah, who am I kidding? I'll settle for the first lying, cheating, short, billionaire that comes along too!!
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