One would think that after a decade of dating and I don't even know how many relationship books I wouldn't still be dealing with the nonsense I'm dealing with. Since I know many of the people that read my blog and since I feel that blogging is a personal thing (to a certain extent) let's have a little back story shall we!? It all started in the summer of 05 or maybe fall of 06, either way, a couple years ago. I met a boy, let us call him, Thor (ha!). Anyway, I met Thor at a party where I was minding my own business playing cards and chillin with my friends. Thor goes OUT OF HIS WAY to flirt with me and chat me up all night. So finally I give into Thor's advances and we exchange numbers. After attempting to text Thor numerous times and him ignoring me I finally gave up. You see, Thor, just wasn't that into me.
What 20 year old Brittany didn't realize was that Thor basically chatted me up as a backup. You see he was talking to another girl and I was simply the "in case things don't work out with girl #1 ... I'll have this girl. If only I had understood this back then. So I get over it and eventually forget about Thor when BAM, Thor pops up in my life again. He starts FB messaging me and when I see him out he begs me to be his friend blah blah. So what do I do? I give in of course! Because Thor is dreamy and tall and well read, has a great sense of humor, is kind, etc... and in my silly little mind he's my soul mate.
And as the years go by Thor maintains just enough interaction with me to keep me liking him. You see boys and girls; Thor is one of those people that can't stand people not liking him. I think this is the motivating factor behind everything he does, the fear of people not thinking he's amazing. So he kept contacting me and every time I would stop thinking about him it was like a radar went off and he knew. He would then use all his fabulous word skills (damn English majors) to woo me back into his web. I'd like to take this opportunity to say if you've ever heard Christina Augilera's Walk Away that's my life with this kid. Anyway, recently Thor and I have been communicating more and he even came for a visit. An EPICLY dramatic visit that kind of made me realize that 1. I truly care/cared about Thor and 2. those feelings weren't really mutual.
I hated them in the movie. In real life if a dude doesn't marry you after 5 years he's never going to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You see Thor lives about 4 hours away and apparently this means that any hope of us being together is lost; except you know, it doesn't. A good friend of mine has a little sister who is getting married to a man that she's been dating for a year or two. Their entire relationship has been long distance. Her fiance picked his medical school based on where she was because he WANTED TO BE WITH HER! I know so many stories like this. If you want to be with someone you will be with them. I mean I am established here but was even willing to move to where he was after another year here and I don't think that appealed to him. So finally I've come to terms with the whole he's just not that into me thing.
This is my future.
The thing is; people show you how they feel about you every day. I'm not just talking about dating and relationships but friends, family, anyone really. Actions show people how you feel and unfortunately Thor's actions are kind of suspect. So alas, I'm back to singledom. I mean I guess I was always kind of single but I was only focusing on him because I cared about him. We were pretty much a couple only not official. I know, I know, stupid. I think deep down I knew that all of this was a waste of time but I kept holding onto hope that maybe, just maybe, this kid would realize that I'm kind of special and make some kind of effort to be with me. Silly Brittany, hope is for kids! I mean Thor could have very easily made an effort to move here, he was looking for jobs in practically every city but Dallas. Alas, some things aren't meant to be.
I've been dating for 15 years. I'm exhausted! Where is he!?
So the moral of the story boys and girls is that don't believe what people say believe what they do. There were so many red flags sprinkled throughout that story and I feel like an idiot for not realizing them. There are even more that I didn't even share with you because there are some things that don't need to go out into the blogosphere! Anyway, here I am, alone again. I must say that I don't really think I learned anything from this situation. Well, I guess I learned that Thor isn't that into me. I don't really think you need to learn something from every relationship you have with people. I think I'll just be single for a while. I'm just tired of dating. I'm tired of boys. I'm tired of lies. I'm tired of couples shoving their love in my face. I'm EVER so tired of people younger than me getting married. I'm just tired. So I give up. However, things could always be worse...
Ha!
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