Part 1-Live Blogging the show
Live blogging so there shall be no real grammar or punctuation. I’m just typing my thoughts as I watch. There may be some random comments thrown in from my roomie.
“I go to Europe , forget it, they’re like “who shot JR?” bahahhaha
Glenn = Ronnie. Glenn also works out at my roomie’s gym apparently.
I can’t watch Family Feud without getting turned on-Glenn
Matt = The Situation
I already hate these people.
Courtney = Sammi
I’m not exactly sure these people are that attractive. I think they’re rich though. That’s all you need in Dallas.
Courtney loves Matt. The end.
“Dallas guys are a breed of their own.” PREACH GIRL!!!
“I don’t think you’re attractive anymore and I can do better.” Example of the ABOVE STATEMENT.
Tami = J Woww.
Tami may be racist. Just saying.
Ummmmm why shouldn’t dogs have less than us? Because they’re dogs?
*commercial break thoughts*
Sighhhh this is trash. I’m actually disappointed in Bravo. They kind of just threw something together to make a random show in TX. They could have done better. Did Bravo Andy have anything to do with this?
Back to the show…
Ronnie is crazy (via the roomie)
“So this girl’s maid is Mexican and her black dog is named Shaneequa?” (a text message I just received from a friend! Bahahaahahhahah)
Courtney may need to lower these standards of hers. JFK jr honey? Yeah… that ain’t happening.
One would think there’s no black people in Dallas. Oh wait…
So Drew = a little bit of Situation and a little bit of Angelina and all kinds of annoying.
Hm, Drew is on the HGC diet, interesting.
In other news, I’m pretty sure Drew lives in The Palomar. Jealous.
Hmmm Glenn, that much trading doesn’t make me think you’re that great.
Side note, this Oreo Brownie I’m eating is great.
“There’s a day in TX called Big Hair Day” via some too tan ho on TV (Ummmm shouldn’t that be called a state day? Via my roomie)
Is this bitch really in a bar spraying hair spray?
“That type of look is not allowed in my neighborhood. This is Dallas. They’re clearly from out of state” bahahaahahhahaha
*commercial break thoughts*
I really wanna see The Help
This comment about “guido bonaduci” has made me LOL. Dallas does have an issue with these random guidos.
SOOOOOO excited for Rachel Zoe!!
Back to the show…
Oh they’re going to Teddy’s Room. That’s fun! I love it there.
This ho’s name is Brittnye? BRITTNYE?!?!??!?!? WTF.
Ummmmm is The Situation seriously inviting all girls to the club?
Oh sigh, I hate The Situation so much. SO MUCH. Perhaps more than the ACTUAL SITUATION.
Oh my GOD I HATE THE SITUATION.
“choo choo, it’s a whole train of hos, with fake boobs, in cute dresses, and plastic heels, saying “oh my god I love this song” “ BAHAHHHAHHAAHHAAHHAAHAHAH that literally sums up the bar in Dallas.
Oh lord, Ronnie is fucking annoying.
Can Ronnie take off these fedoras? Really though?
Umm is this transition music party in the usa?
“I don’t like being shooed by hos” oh Courtney, how I love you.
Have I really watched 35 minutes of this show? I want those 35 minutes back. I’m watching it for y’all!!!
OH GODDDDDD a ho has ruined Matt! THIS EXPLAINS IT ALL! A HO HAS RUINED HIM!!!!
*commercial break thoughts*
I’m so glad Matt aka The Situation aka The Sitch! Has explained why he’s such a ho! Some girl broke his heart! Sighhhhhh last thing Dallas needs is some frat boy type dude acting out his slutty fantasies because a girl broke his heart and now he’s not capable of love.
This show is dragging, it’s not awesome either. They should have taken a page from Big Rich Texas! That’s my shit.
Back to the show…
“This gay may be rich but is crazy. I don’t know about him being eligible” my roomie
BAHAHAHAHAAHAHHA
OMG I love this crazy Situation and Angelina mix.
“You wanna talk horse power, cars, engines, then I’m your guy. You wanna talk Armani, Versace, or art, then go find some other queer.” BAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH rude, slightly inappropriate, but hilarious. The guy saying it was in fact gay just a btw.
Ummm really Sitch? You don’t bring hos to family dinner.
I don’t know if it’s possible for me to hate The Situation any more than I do.
Oh Courtney, please get over Matt. He ain’t worth it honey.
Ummm this random ho that Matt brought to dinner is uggo and fake and has too much blush and lipstick.
Hmmm she’s also 23 and looks 85. I’m glad black don’t crack.
Hmmm Courtney may need to calm down a little bit.
Oh look, Ronnie and The Situation are having a chat outside the bar. Hahahaha I’m getting such Jersey shore vibes.
Lord, Courtney is pulling a Sami right now.
Oh GOD she’s crying. OH LORD, crying in the bar. So Sammi of you Courtney.
My God this show is fucking stupid.
OK Courtney, we get it. You want a baby. Chill the fuck out.
I like Neal! She’s cute. Oh I think it’s Neill, Neill Skylar bahahah OK then.
OH I just realized Tammy/Tami=Tara bahahaha
Oh yay it’s over!
Part 2-My thoughts on the show. Let's meet the cast now!
Matt
Tara
Neill
Glenn
Courtney
Drew
Is this what the people of Jersey felt like before Jersey Shore premiered? I mean really, this is trash. This may actually be the biggest pile of trash I’ve seen in a while. I am contemplating not watching it again so that should let you know what’s up. I’m unsure how Bravo found this group of tan, fake, blonde, borderline unattractive, narcissistic people but kudos to them. My main issues are as follows…
1. Are there no eligible non white people in Dallas?
2. How much time was really put into making this show?
3. Is this show for real?
4. What exactly do they mean by eligible?
So let’s just go ahead and address these issues one by one. Issue number one, why are there no black people on this show? No, Shaneequa the dog doesn’t count. I find it hard to believe that in the world of completely fake reality shows (I’m pretty sure there hasn’t been an authentic reality TV shows since the 2nd season of The Hills) that they couldn’t find at least ONE moderately ethnic looking person. Perhaps an Asian, Black, or Mexican or maybe one of those mixed with white? I’m sure that would make them more socially acceptable. I mean come on, you have to fucking get at least one non Caucasian person. So far out of the three shows about Texas there are no non Caucasian people anywhere to be found. I just think that’s a bit sad.
Issue number two, I get the feeling that this show was seriously just thrown together at the last minute. Something about it doesn’t really flow or sit well with me. There are things I like, Courtney for instance, and things I really don’t like, like Matt, but all in all the show doesn’t really fit. I mean you’ve called the show Most Eligible Dallas but none of these people are really all that eligible. That probably has a lot to do with the fact that real Dallas socialites and eligible sexy people aren’t trying to be thirsty hos on TV. Anyway, like I said, something is off with this show. I think if they really wanted to do a show on Dallas that Bravo, of all channels, could have done it right. Say what you will about reality TV but Bravo has made some of the best shows around. Project Runway, Top Chef, Real Housewives, Bethenny’s spinoff, etc… they know how to make a good reality show, regardless of the genre. This show is lacking something.
Just like Jersey Shore (seriously y’all, it’s the same show) there are some serious “are these people freaking serious?!??!” moments on this. I somehow find the idiotic nature of assholes and silly bitches to be less amusing when it’s about my city. I kind of just want to sit down with the person who came up with the premise for this show and chat with them. I don’t really know who thought Dallas would be the best place to find a group of eligible singles but they were sadly mistaken…especially in the eligible single men department. The show itself is pretty much laughable and I can’t really see it lasting more than this season. It kind of gives me Real Housewives of DC vibes, meaning, it shall be canceled after this season. Ha!
Here is the definition of eligible, desirable or suitable as a partner in marriage. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm let us take a moment to ponder this for a moment. Desirable or suitable as a partner in marriage, yeah, no one on this show fits this description. You’ve got Courtney, she has serious issues, Tammy or Tami OH wait, I think it’s Tara!, who happens to be obsessed with dogs and likes them more than humans, Matt, a man whore, and Glenn the washed up football player. I will say that Drew and the new girl (Neal I think is her name) are actually OK for dating but not really eligible. Drew, happens to have some serious ass issues and kind of needs to get over his ego. Drew also happens to be a bit of an anorexic. Neal is the cutest all around person on the show but she is 23 with a kid and looks about 10 years older than she is so I don’t know that I would call that marriage material.
So all in all I kind of hate this show. Anyone that knows me knows I’m a sucker for some trash TV so saying I hate this is saying a lot about the show. I was trying to figure out if it’s the fact that it hits too close to home or if the show actually sucks. I think it’s both. I don’t love the fact that A LOT Of stereotypes of Dallas are represented on this show and A LOT of them are truth. However, I also don’t love the show. I don’t think I’d love this show regardless of where it’s taking place. The show itself gets a C+, which sadly, is a high enough grade for me to at least watch a couple more episodes. Don’t judge me! Haha.
Cast- B (I love Courtney’s crazy and Niell)
Premise-D
Potential Cast Drama Factor- C
Potential Matt/Neal/Courtney Drama Factor-A+ (Oh I can’t wait!!!)
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