So it's recap time! Just like last week I did live blogging and then recapped the show as it was happening! Excuse any grammatical errors because these were my live thoughts on the show!
Live Blogging!
Right off the bat, Matt’s a douche.
Oh of course Matt went to UT, OF COURSE!
Oh of course Matt is the son of a Dallas Cowboy.
Niell can’t sing.
“The majority of the gay community in Dallas is pretty vain.”
OH Dallas has its very own millionaire matchmaker!
“I occasionally have some one night stands, OK…not occasionally, all the time.”
Oh Courtney get the fuck over it.
Damn “and why don’t we agree that I use condoms and don’t have babies.” Well damn Courtney, damn.
Ummmmm Courtney needs to chill the fuck out. Apparently Niell is bad because she got divorced? Really?
OH MY GOD COURTNEY IS CRAZY
“who gives a f*ck!! Oh my GOD she’s crazy!!” via my roomie, in ref to Courtney
I hate/love Ronnie so much.
“Nobody likes a fat single girl” bahahhahaha oh Courtney
For the life of me I can’t remember this blonde girls name.
Hmmmm what is her name?!?!?!
Oh is it Sarah? I think that’s it.
Hm, commercial break analysis is that the first episode was way more entertaining.
Matt has an awkward body.
OH GOD MATT IS THE BIGGEST DOUCHE I’VE EVER SEEN.
Drew is hilarious!!! His lines are hilarious.
“I have never seen a redheaded Mexican before in my life. Holy…she set me up with an endangered species” bahaahahahahahahahah oh Drew.
I think Matt is confused about what gorgeous means.
Oh this is awkward with all these random girls showing up on this date.
Oh I hate you Matt. HATE.
My roomie has informed me Matt and Audrina dated. Odd.
Side note, if you’d like to find some hilarity for your day look up Matt Nordgren. Everyone hates him online and really wants people to know he didn’t ever play football! Hahaahah
I love Glenn and Drew.
“why does she even care?” niell about Courtney. Really though! PREACH GIRL!
Is Courtney drunk at this dinner?
Wow Courtney, stop slurring your words honey. Drunk on TV is not a good look.
The makeup on this show is a bit much.
Courtney does have a nice manicure though.
“shut the fuck up!” my roomie to the tv with Courtney on it.
Well we begin by seeing The Situation AKA Matt strut around his office like a peacock and his brand new feathers. I did find out an interesting piece of info though, Matt played football for UT and was pro before an injury. He also happens to be the son of a Dallas Cowboy, this explains so much yall; SO MUCH. After watching Matt in the office and learning absolutely nothing about what he actually does we follow matt into the studio to meet Niell. Nothing much really happens here except for Matt apologizing for Courtney’s horrific behavior. Blah blah, Courtney loves me, blah blah, I’m so hot.
Next up we see Drew at Dallas’ very own millionaire matchmaker! Apparently Drew is going to find love, Fiddler on the Roof style. Drew provides us with some hilarious quotes (which you can see above) and that pretty much sums up that scene. On to the real fun! Matt and Courtney meet up to talk about Courtney’s craziness at dinner last week. I must say that I love Courtney but she was literally acting like a child last week and a toddler this week. If you like a boy that’s fine but there’s no need to treat all his other girl friends like trash. Talking trash about any girl younger/cuter than you is tacky and pathetic. I can honestly see some feelings between Courtney and Matt (by that I mean, I’m pretty sure they sexed) but acting like a crazy psycho when he’s NOT even your boyfriend is not the best way to get a boy to like you. The highlights of this convo were Courtney basically implying Niell is going to burn in hell for getting a divorce because marriage is a vow to your church and God. OK then… I’m just gonna move on now.
Next up is Ronnie, AKA Glenn! Apparently Ronnie and his hat (because he’s never without one) are trying to break into modeling. I’m happy for Ronnie and his hat because football obviously doesn’t work for him. Not much happens during this scene except for looking at Ronnie and his hat half naked in pics. I’m not complaining. Next up Courtney, her mother, and the blond who loves dogs and whose name escapes me sit down to talk about being single, Courtney being crazy, and being nice to Niell. Then blonde girl breaks the news that she is going to go on a date with an old man who has a couple ex-wives. Loosely translated that means she’s going on a date with a sugar daddy.
We come back after commercial and get to see Matt, who may actually be sleazier than The Situation, getting ready for a date. According to Matt Friday night is date night in Dallas (this is news to me) and as always he does things big. Big, to Matt is calling up 4 girls and then taking them to dinner on Friday night. Sigh, Matt is killing me. I really want to like him because he’s such a little cutie when he wants to be but DEAR LORD he’s a douche. 100% douche!!!!!! I get that a girl broke his heart (see last week’s recap) but it’s time to stop the douchebagness sir. After Matt we stop by Sarah and her peepaw date. They went bowling, that’s really all there is to say about that. After Sarah and peepaw we catch up with Drew and his date set up by the grandma from Fiddler on the Roof. Drew is not excited about his match being 5’7 and the date is pretty awkward.
These may be 3 of the most awkward dates I’ve ever seen. Matt is basically a pimp, peepaw and sarah are just whatever and Drew is dating a leprechaun. Best moment of any of these dates was when Matt goes to the restroom and leaves the three dates to talk about him. Second best moment was the awkward end of Drew and the leprechaun’s date! I’m most baffled by the fact that one of these girls actually went home and hooked up with Matt after this ridiculous group date. Oh and here’s a fun fact, Matt and Audrina from The Hills apparently dated for a minute. Oh what a small, incestuous, reality TV world we live in.
We rejoin the show with Glenn and Drew working out. They seem to be the only two people I can tolerate on the show so scenes with them together rock. Glenn is such a nice, supportive friend too, I like that. OK, sappy moment over. After a lovely scene with two men being friends and supporting each other we go to dinner with Niell, Sarah, and Courtney where they shall set women back about 50 years. Let me just say this, I really used to like Courtney but she’s a silly bitch. Oh and on another note, Sarah doll, you aren’t an alpha female just because you talk down to other girls. You should come out with me and let me show you what a real alpha female looks like. Yeah, bitch.
Anyway, Niell shows up late (what a passive aggressive FU) and then the fun begins. Courtney immediately sets in with talking shit to Niell. I was sitting here watching this dinner and wondering if Courtney was drunk when Niell happens to mention Courtney is always wasted every time they hang out. The fact that she has tried to have this serious dinner to apologize and she’s drunk off her ass and slurring her words is a bit sad. Something deeper is going on with Courtney and she should have looked into that before going on a reality TV show. The dinner didn’t really accomplish anything. Unless of course you count Courtney getting wasted, Sarah eating quietly in the corner, and Niell passive aggressively sassing Courtney every other minute an accomplishment; actually…
We end the show with Courtney waking up hung over in bed and Matt calling to wake her up and sass her. This sends Courtney into a rage! Courtney seems to see things a bit differently than Matt, Niell, Sarah, and the rest of the TV audience. Perhaps someone should explain real life to the girl. And that my friends, is how we end the show!! The episode was a little worse than last week but a bit more entertaining in certain areas. At the very least I was privy to the EXTREME crazy that is Courtney Kerr. I don’t love it. Oh wells, I’m off to bed loves. Please pray for me because as you can see, dating in Dallas is a scary/dangerous thing. Until next time!
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